People who blog are usually very open, wanting/willing to share the most intimate details of their life with a larger audience. Some of my favorite writers are very much like that, but I am not. I’m not an amazing writer, so let’s just get that part out of the way. I don’t think being willing to talk about every single part of my life with a stranger should be a requirement to be a blogger. I don’t think it makes you a good writer, but it doesn’t make you a bad one either.
So I’m still amazed at people’s reactions when they ask how my relationship is doing. I usually say something along the lines of, “Fine“, “We’re good“, “Yeah, it’s cool” – only to have them lean in closer and whisper, “Is everything, okay?”
To which I then lean further back, wrinkle my brow and say, “Uhh, yeah…we’re cool“. What proceeds is either another attempt to confirm we’re not broken up or a dance of silence, in which we both furrow our brows and look at one another. The first one to break the silence, loses.
If they push the subject, I usually respond that I’m a private person, I don’t like sharing my relationship status with everyone, beyond the general confirmation that I have a relationship. Their response, like clockwork, “but you’re a blogger…“
People, seriously, one size does not fit all. I blog to clear my mind, to share what little thoughts race through my brain, but I mostly blog to entertain my mother. Apparently, she finds my writing funny and my Aunt told me I’m pretty bad at staying in touch…soo….blogging. A call would be less personal than having them simply read my posts. So, I find it tiring when so many people assume that because I blog, every part of my life is open for discussion.
I don’t share everything with everyone and sometimes people only know parts of me. The parts I’m comfortable sharing with them. It’s not that I’m shy or ashamed or have anything to hide. It’s just…I don’t want to talk about it with you. I’m trying to be nice here, but lately it’s been pretty difficult to maintain that persona.
When people keep pestering me, this is what I imagine in my head.
I assume others are fascinating and complex and I don’t pry if I haven’t been invited. I don’t think that means other people are hiding deep, dark secrets. I know I’m not so I assume others aren’t as well.
So if you ask how my relationship is and I say we’re fine…then I’m telling the truth. If I wasn’t, I’d say so and let you know that I don’t feel like talking about it or I don’t feel like talking about it with you. So the next time someone asks how my relationship is doing and I don’t provide any details; if they keep bringing up the topic I think I’m going to let them down gently and say, “Hey…it’s not me, it’s you. I just don’t want to talk about it with you.”